Saturday, January 24, 2015

STOP!!! (original web publishing and written around May 14, 2014)

     Austin St. is full of static electricity. There's so much that the slightest thought of a spark sets my world afire.  I've got a million-and-one stories to tell, each as enlightening and "interesting" as the next for you.  As for me, its almost as if my TV channel never changes. I've only been here for twenty-odd years and already my post has made me emotionally weary.  The buses have passed me whispers of grand, vibrant, happy intersections in Cap Hill.  However, my fate lies as the guardian of Austin and Rainier, with my particles slowly simmering to a boil....

      Just yesterday, I watched a hideous brawl go down.  Where I'm at I have a clear view of not only the street but at least 16 residences.  I've watched a couple right across the street for the past few months.  Three months ago they were a lot less toxic to each other.  Always smiles from the girl to the guy, even as he talked so much shit about her favourite things.  As I observed, I began to see more dissonances every week.  One week was particularly stressful for them, and it reflected in their actions to one another.  He began to yell at her more, and thus she began to question at a higher rate. Just as my inner temperature was raising higher and higher due to my surroundings, they were in the midst of an exothermic reaction.  One day they combusted.

     She was attempting to spend quality time with him and both were bored.  He began to surf his email or some such and got into a chat with a friend online.  She observed, and noticed once in the conversation that he told his friend, "nows not the best time, because I'm with my girlfriend."  Emotional response already locked and loaded, the hammer hit the nail home and she exploded in paranoia:  "What are you hiding?!!" floated towards me via the open window.  "Nothing. Shut up and quit questioning me. I hate it!!!"  I became unwillingly privy to their intimate issues with each other as they continued to squabble loudly.  Finally, fed up, he went to go quote his irrationally emotional partner to his friend.  She began to command him to stop.  Refusing out of his inveterate sense of rebellion, his fingers kept bushing the keys frantically as she attempted to grab his hand and pull him off his keyboard.  Already clouded and angry, the thunderbolt of rage lit up his face as he attempted to kick her down and off of him.  He would not be controlled.  He would succeed in making his friend think his girlfriend was a bitch, because at that moment to him she was and that view is apparently all that mattered. In response to what she felt was an unwarranted kick, she began to pull the locks of his hair. It slightly incapacitated him, and pissed him off.  I've watched this lady for many months, and I know that if it had been a street fight and she was in beast mode she would have beat his ass.  However, this was her lover; she was holding back and not throwing blows.  I saw him wind back and grimaced from my head to the grass at my feet.  WHAM!! Pow! Right in the kisser.  Caught off guard, thrown back for half a second, her grip tightened in pain upon his precious hair.  "Don't... you.. DARE... punch... ME!!! BITCH!!!!" she huffed out, hitting his back with the soft of her fist. He wrapped his arms around her waist, his leg behind her, brought his head down upon the top of the bridge of her nose and slammed her down, consequently into and down a wall.  Fury flashed through her body and she flung out with a kick at his ribs - the "rape kick" - as he later called it.  His dad rushed into the apartment to pull them apart.  She took a shower, and they made up about it.... But I worry for her.  He promised to never do it again, and they will look for healthier ways to express the thunderstorm between them.  However, I've seen so much violence on this street corner, I wonder if the virus has infected them or not.  Or maybe, he carried this virus of negativity that bled into her emotionality. I can't quite tell. It brings me almost as much pain as that chick's face feels to watch all of these humans fighting each other though.

     Relationships, friendships, families are about romantic and platonic love for others.  Love is supposed to be unconditional.  Love is patient, kind and open-minded.  I know that humanity isn't perfect, but why is the learning curve so almost-insurmountable??  Come on, guys!!! YOU are the keepers of the Garden of Eden! YOU can make heaven a reality instead of some ivory tower metaphor in the sky.  It's all about how you treat each other.  Everybody should treat everyone else as family for you all are of the same species.  Yet, all of you gang up against each other and drag each other down.  Your actions have bled into the Earth so badly that your spaceship is sinking and there are so many emotional grenades exploding simultaneously that nobody cares.  Humans truly do go out "guns blazing".  And, so I stand here rigid an everyday reminder of courtesy, always yelling "STOP" like some football referee.

The Crone's Time 1/24/15

We rose up today,
Ready for anything in our way,
Except for the blanket of Demeter;
The chilling embrace of Cailleach Bheur.

The old ones had much to teach
Me so that my Light will have expanded reach.
"Did you know the sweet rain kisses of Spring
Are more aggressive than those of the snows, though they sting?"

"No I didn't!" my young soul cries,
As I frolic in the white sea, feasting eyes.
Now I listen to Stank's great musics,
Letting my mind connect some dots of metaphysics.

I hope to you brain it is amusing
To see this little glimpse of my musing,
As we take this season's introspective time
To develop our lives into a flowing rhyme.

From where I gaze on this precipice,
I observe our futures full of blessedness,
And as long as with Love our story weaves,
Our friendships are not dead like Autumn leaves.


1/20/15 (Minutes after The Feels)

The winding twisting turns,
Of Life, sometimes they burn.
When approaching what ye yearn,
Its like an unfolding fern.

When all the puzzle pieces fit,
Finally we can have time to sit,
Lifting thanks up to the Gods,
As we celebrate with the temples of our bods.

Sometimes when from the city I flee,
I find myself a place to be,
And  as I sit beneath The Tree,
My soul finally soars free,

Out with the negativity I cough
And I sip from the deep trough
Of the wisdom of my life,
Looking back on years of strife.

Gazing forward, I see times where life will be a bore,
But pulling through will let me soar.
Back to the Emerald City I'll tour,
Able to aid others with what they search for.

Past Feels (working title, rough conceptual draft)


There was love; it sweetly blossomed,
Wilted, and then died before my eyes
As I attempted to hold on fast with my fist,
The dried petals of this rose crumbled to dust.

All alone then, I saw the sick irony of it,
Staring at my surroundings filled with people.
The color begins to slowly fade away,
Back down to a dull steady gray.

But WAIT! There arrives a shining Knight,
Someone full of party, love and Light!
Reaching out to me he whisks me off my life's tracks,
Placing me firmly upon a spiral up.

Because of that Knight, my horizons expanded.
Unfortunately though, our friendship was disbanded.
New seeds were planted in his wake,
And yet his place they cannot take.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Worlds Within Worlds... (working title)

     I have lived this life extremely messily.  I never did anything "right", never seemed to live up to society's standards, either.  Everyday people would pass me endlessly on the street, wrinkling their noses as they hurried to pass where I sat.  Everyday I looked up into the dead faces of the white collars as they put their lifes' effort into making millions for their CEOs, feeling pity for them.  Then I'd look back down to the ground upon which I sat and slept on thinking: "Two sides of the same coin.... I know I have it better according to my morals but I am just as trapped as they."  A few times in my younger days (those years during which the government deems a "homeless youth" able to be rehabilitated into "normal" society) I attempted to get indoors and hold a job.  It always left me feeling as if people who had jobs willing roboticized themselves and that I just wasn't cut out for it.  One evening I was headed back to my squat when I heard a violent scuffle in an alley.  I peered down there, saw two guys at it and shouted, "Hey!".  One of them turned, pointed a gun at me and everything went black as a loud bang reverberated between the two buildings.

     I awoke later.  As I lay on my back with brightness pushing its way through the thin membranes of my eyelids I attempted to grasp the situation.  I remembered getting shot...... did I somehow come out of it alive?  What effect would it have on my life?  I opened my eyes.  Everywhere was swathed in an unreal white light brightness, different from that of a hospital.  I was laying on grass... strange.  Turning my head, I saw nothing but a field, and I was unrestrained, unlike how I would have been in a hospital.  I sat up, the sky above had naught but a strong glow piercing a sky made of ever-changing rainbow colors.  "Is this... Heaven?  But how?" I murmered aloud in surprise.  Getting up was easy and I found that I still had full mobility and I wondered somewhere deep inside my brain if this is just what those final moments of release of DMT from the Pineal Gland is like, and when it was going to end.  But when I was back on Earth I had "blasted off" on DMT and the place I came to was comprised of spinning fractyls.  This, this seemed real, as I bent to run my hands through the grass.  I paused for a second, now standing, uncertain as to where I should go.  I turned slowly in a circle until I felt a specific direction was "right" and continued that way.  Soon I came to a stream, and looking into its depths I saw that I was youthful again and it sent shivers up my spine.  I had definitely gone to some kind of "afterlife".  As I continued I heard a soft, lilting noise; it grew stronger as I approached.  It was a girl with a similar youthful appearance to my own.  I stopped a short distance away, awkward and unwilling to disturb her song as she picked exotic wildflowers reminiscent of the things I used to doodle when I was supposed to be doing my homework.  She stopped and looked up at me with deep violet eyes, "Ah, you've returned Akshia!" She rushed towards me and wrapped me in a warm embrace.  Her arms and the strange name she had used for me struck a chord of rememberance, but this only confused me.

     She must have sensed the confusion and pulled back, smiling at me in a cherubic way, "I've been instructed to explain. Come, sit with me and all will be made clear."  Instead of plopping down right there we continued in my original direction for a few minutes in pleasant silence while my brain's cogs turned madly:  My name used to be Jill!  I was 30 when I died and now I look like I'm 13! Whoa! Wait.... are those....?  We walked up to a copse of, I guess trees.  They looked as if they were birthed from the imagination of Dr. Seuss and Alex Gray, though.  They were full of spiral shapes, multicolors and thick "U" shaped branches.  We each took a low-hanging branch for our seat and this strange being began.

     "Akshia, do you remember this place at all yet?"
      "No. The name is strange to me yet it resonates deep in my soul."
      "Ah, well, they warned me of this. I suppose I will start from the beginning.  this place is called Kee by us, the inhabitants, though it doubtless has hundreds of different names on Earth, where you just came from.  Here we are born to guard all that is of the Light, good and just.  Earth is a place full of chaos, a mix of Light and Dark with both sides constantly struggling for power.  There is no way you couldn't have observed that during your stay.  Since we up here are supposed to protect Light while being of It, when we have a Youth go thought training but they have a high level of Dark tendencies we send them to Earth as a type of remedial training.   There was a ceremony in that field a while ago that sent your Soul down to Earth in a little baby to be named Jill.  You weren't allowed to remember anything because it is a test for our people.  Our insturctors monitored your progress and apparently you passed on your first try on Earth! If you had become more corrupted in your Soul you would have repeated, and repeated.  Does this make sense?  The Instructors say that your memories of Kee should return, though cases of full amnesia HAVE been reported."

     "So... what's your name? My memories still haven't returned." I smile.

     "Oh! Silly me!  I'm Kiriana, and we used to be very best friends before you were deemed in need of Remedials."

     "How long have I been gone?"

     "Only a year, our time."

      "Wow, I was.... 30 back on Earth...."

     "Time is relative....."

     "Einstein said that back on Earth."
      "First, he learned it up here."

~ Part 1 - Fin ~

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Light Love

I-I feel you, sweet Source,
You are flowing through my 
Uplifted being, directing my life
With a firm yet gentle hand.

Full, I'm full with Energy,
Positively glowing, step-by-step,
Word-by-word affirming hope and
Manifesting cleansing, healing Light.

My soul, body and mind is in
Rapture, all a frenzy, covered
In a layer of tickling, tingling
Energy, enveloped in millions of tiny kisses....
3:47 am
Aug. 15th, 2013

I sit perched upon a precipice,
Looking back down the rugged mountain
I proudly survey the terrain traveled.
At LAST! The long hard journey is paying off!

With new eyes I gaze upon this
Bright, fresh, new landscape filled
With so many new blossoming, fresh
Towering trees, flowers and worker bees.

Brimming with new energy, I feel
My soul Lighten, my body full to the brim,
Tingling all over like a divine embrace as I spread
Little knowing seed of Loved Life everywhere.